Christmas Break

Marry Christmas! Its a little late but oh well. We have been up in Brigham City since Christmas Eve. At first it was just Anji and I with the Grandparents and RJ got lots of one on one attention. He loves it and never gets tired of being held and therein lies the problem. We are new parents and given the oportunity again...I know I would do some things differently. It has been great being around so many dynamic parents this last week. One cool thing I witnessed was when Kate took a pretty tough fall. Both Emily and Scott looked at Kate and cheered...Kate got up smiled and ran to them. I know why it impressed me but it may sound trivial to others. When they cheered it was like their brains were processing the same information in the exact manner....unified, in sync. Anji and I are still pretty new and in no way anywhere close to having this whole parenting thing worked out. I hope we get better with practice and I pray we don't do anything permennant to RJ that later in life he won't be able to recover from.

Its been awhile (again).....

I haven't posted for awhile. Anji has pointed it out to me on more than one occasion that I go through phases with things that I am obsessed with. It's true I guess, I don't think that it makes me any different with most people in the world. We get new toys and for a time they occupy all our time and then we get bored with them and move on. Happiness isn't found in things. Well I guess you are wondering what has kept me away. Well first off it was my Dad letting me get his tools, I spent a couple of days in the garage cleaning and organizing all the tools that I got from him then it was a book that I picked up, then it was thanksgiving day sale at Best Buy, and most recently it was a HTPC (Home Theater Personal Computer). I got rid of my cable but recently I fired up my Internet again. Don't miss cable at all.

RJ has been growing up and smiling, and cooing lots more than he ever has. He is super cute! We get along just fine. Anji is going back to work soon and she is worried about being away from little RJ. I really don't know what it is like for to be a mother and a working mother at that...I have seen one of my co-workers really struggle with being away from her kids and know that it isn't going to be easy. I was raised with a working mother but the big difference with my mother working was that although she was really busy....she was always there....just downstairs. So I guess that really it isn't the same as situation that Anji and I are in right now. Anyways tough subject that I am sure will always be a sensitive and hard subject to talk about.

Some of the things that have taken place since I last wrote was RJ's blessing. The big surprise there was that my dad showed up. I was glad to see him and was even happier when he was again able to come over to my house and spend some time with the family. We had lots of people over here that day and I am grateful for everyone that was able to come. Grandma and Grandpa Findley came and spent a week with us before and after the blessing and as always they were super helpful with RJ. My mother made some of her famous rolls and I begged her to leave some since I really didn't get any leftovers from Thanksgiving. Grandpa Culter really liked them and took a bunch home for Breakfast the next morning. Everyone pitched in for the food for RJ's blessing. Anji has been taking lots of pictures of RJ and I need to update the blog with some of those pics. Well I am looking at the baby monitor and it looks like the little rascal is awake and crying. GTG.

Its been awhile.......

I haven't blogged for awhile so I thought I would catch whoever reads this up on some events. Last week we had a new renter move in and needless to say I spent a lot of time moving dishwashers around. I could spend a great deal of time recounting my experiances with dishwashers and my amazing luck with screws but I am afraid that most of you would find it extermly boring. So I will just catch you up on some of the big stuff. I was able to get my dads tools last week and have been spending a great deal of time in the garage cleaning bird poop, shining tools, and organizing. I am grateful for those tools and know that they will help me do some amazing things that will benefit me and my family.

Grandma and Grandpa Findley left to go help another one of their children but while they were here they invaluable help. I think Grandpa Findley taught RJ how to smile because he did lots of it while he was here and has been doing lots more of it since he left (but not because he left).

RJ has been getting bigger every day, Anji weighed him today at 11 lbs. He has been sleeping lots better at night and RJ and I still have a special date at 530am no matter how tired I am. One cool thing that has happened is that while Grandpa and Grandma Findley was here RJ got sick and we gave him a blessing and in that blessing I was prompted to tell RJ that he would overcome his sickness and that he would be blessed with a reprieve from sickness for awhile. It seemed that he immediately overcame the sickness and he hasn't been sick since, which has been a blessing because it seemed that he was sick with one thing or another.

Grandma and Grandpa Findley Visit....

Well they are finally here......wooot! It's great to have them here. I know both Anji and I have felt less stress with them here. I know I sound like a pansy but looking after a kid 24/7 gets tiring and just having someone else here to do a little here and a little there is great. They have been doing dishes, cooking dinner and just loving RJ. They are both great!

I haven't been blogging for the last couple days because yesterday after work I went and checked out the damage to our rental and the day before I was driving my dad home from Kolob Care Center. Lots of good news. Our rental looked great and we just showed it off to a lady Anji works with and our hopes our high that she will rent it. I am trying to not label every event in my life as "good" or "bad" but just "life". Life is neither good or bad it just is....we assign mental labels as we see fit and those labels can vary between each person. We can even interpret similar events in our life very differently depending where we are mentally. Some of the things we think are the worst possible things to happen to us later in life we look at them as a blessing. And we are.....truly blessed. I am no expert at this mental reframing but I am working on it and it has helped me to look at things from different perspectives and overall help me to be a little happier.

On to news about RJ.....Anji took him to get his pictures taken and she told me on the very last picture the captured the money shot. RJ had his head held high with his big eyes opened. Can't wait to see it! Anji had a little laugh this morning. After I had fed RJ, I laid him down in his crib and took a shower....he started to cry and Anji grabbed him and laid him in the bed with her. Grandpa and Grandma woke up and went in to his room when they woke up and they couldn't find him and then they checked the bassinet and couldn't find him in there either. They were a little stressed until they found out that he was laying next to Anji in the bed.

Spencer Lars Stephens.....

My dad has been in town since Wednesday and I have been able to go over and see him everyday which has been nice. This is the first time in a long time that I feel like I have a relationship with him. I have been typing a bunch and then erasing it....afraid of how it will be interpreted. Oh well, here goes. There have been times in the past that I have done token visits with my dad and the truth is I wasn't a 100 percent enthusiastic about visiting him. Every since my dad has had his stroke it been pretty much up to us to visit him....since his mobility is greatly compromised. He lives in a tiny city about 15 miles from I-15 and there has been too many times that I have calculated in my head the amount of extra time it would take to visit my dad and decided to just keep driving north or south.

It's several hours later from when I started writing this post and I am wondering about how smart I am exploring this subject in a blog. On our way down to the hospital my dad told me that he really didn't know how to be a dad.....his own dad died very young in a mining accident. Since this is the first go with being a son....I guess you can say that I really didn't know either. We both know that we have made lots of mistakes....one of which I mentioned above.

Another of my mistakes is that when ever I see my dad, I want it to be about me. I want him to ask about every detail of my life, but my dad lives mostly alone and has lots to talk about himself and the family history that is his passion. Because of his health, my father has many moments when he wants to impart some of his wisdom, tells me about the mistakes he has made in hopes that I don't do the same.

I don't know what really happened on this trip. Maybe he was willing to talk about me....maybe it was me willing to listen to him.....but it was different. I can't speak for him but for me I passed a milestone in our relationship. For some reason I really wanted to do this....normally I wouldn't of minded someone else making the 3 hour trip to pick him up and bring him here. I asked for day off and drove to Adamsville. I really can't remember when the last time I drove for any distance in a car with my dad but it was fun. We talked mostly. My dad started to talk about how he would like some new music to listen to while he worked on family history so I turned on the Ipod and gave him a sampling of some of the music I could get for him asking him if he liked each of the songs. I had a song in particular that I thought that my dad would like and started to play it and told him to listen to the lyrics and paused the song to summarize what was going on. The song was "Three Wooden Crosses" by Brad Paisley (I think) and by the end of it we were both in tears hardly able to speak. I know it sounds sappy but it''s true. The song was about death and whats really important in life....which had been the elephant in the car the whole way down. That's really not true....the elephant in the room was our relationship....we could easily talk about death. My father has been preparing for it for a long time. We have a hard time talking about us. (What I am about to say I am sure many will criticize me for say but its the truth.) Most of my life....I have felt that I had been ripped off in the father department...and most of the time that is what I wanted to talk about. My hurt, my pain, my wrongs. Maybe I let go of all that and just wanted to be with him this time. I hope so. I don't know what it is but I do feel that its possible to have a relationship with him.

When we got to St. George before he went to the hospital....I wanted to show him my home. I drove him to the house and drove the car in the backyard to show him the view. I drove the car into the garage just wanting him to see as much as he could. I asked him if he wanted to go inside and he said that he didn't that he was fine just seeing this much. I really wanted to show him inside so I got out his wheelchair and told him that I wanted to take him in. He objected at first saying that I wouldn't be able to get him inside but I insisted. I got him inside no problem and I am glad I did it. We showed him all of the downstairs then Anji took the camera and video taped the upstairs and then we watched it on the TV. He was able to see RJ and we got some pictures with the three of us. I never had any Grandpa's alive when Iwas born. RJ is going to be able to have the three best Grandpa's a boy could ever ask for. It's late......so I am going to go to bed. Dad, I love You! I know that you are going to read this and I hope that you are ok with everything I wrote.

Halloween 2008

So it was the first Halloween with RJ....we had lots of Trick-or-Treaters and we were able to hang out with Aunt LoLo and Uncle Brian. They did a great job fawning over RJ and I was beaming with Pride. He is a cute kid! I haven't blogged for awhile and I really do have lots of things I can blog about but its 9:30pm on a Saturday night and if anyone knows me....it's pumpkin time! (meaning I am up late and tired.... sorry for the Disney reference)

Driving my father to St. George for surgery....

This is a picture of my Dad taken when I was driving him to the hospital.

Good news about RJ...

I had a sweet visit to my school today....after RJ's doctor appointment, Anji brought me lunch we were able to eat together in my office. I found out the when they checked RJ's O2 Saturation it was at 99 percent. He also weighed 9 lbs which means that he has been putting on the weight since he has been born....which is a good thing. Anji also told me that she caught him sucking on his thumb.....I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing so I really don't know how to feel about it....I hate to be selfish but I heard it helps them sleep at night which is always a good thing for chronically tired parents.

I had some bad news today but I am hesitant to spill my guts about it although I know it would help me clear my mind. The short story is my renters called me up and told me that they are going to have a hard time paying rent. With Anji not working, hospital bills, and now this, it's just more finacial stress than I have ever been under and I'm not used to it. I know some people have a lot bigger problems then me....but what I am feeling reminds me of something Victor Frankle wrote in his book, "Man's Search for Meaning". I can't quote you anything word for word but the jist of it is....suffering is like air in a ballon no matter how much or how little is in the ballon the air expands to fill the whole capacity of the container equally. I know my situation can be a lot worse and to some people it's not a big deal but to me right now.....it feels like a big deal.

Dad dresses RJ-from Anji

Ryan was so cute today. RJ pooped up his back again (poo back!!) and Ryan changed his clothes. Ryan grabbed a onesie and dressed him (which is really weird, because normally when something like that happens, Ryan comes and asks or begs me to take care of it!) Later, I noticed that RJ had a new outfit on and noticied that it drowned him. RJ still wears Newborn size clothes and this onesie is for a 9 month old. It was so cute I had to take a picture. I love my 2 boys!

Yep....He is a little sick

I haven't blogged for a couple of days....and I have found that I can surf on the weak signals around the neighborhood just fine. I can't watch any videos but blogging and checking emails....no problem! Anji has been talking to a few people about RJ and has some great emails....one that I am am thinking about in particular was from Emily Findley. Emily said something like how a mother would do anything to take any suffering away from their child if they could and gladly suffer it themselves. Anji let out a good bout of tears when she read this.....it was real cute. Thanks Emily for all your help.....Anji looks up to you (I can tell). We have so many good examples around us on how to be good parents.

RJ is sick. I have been having flash backs of my nephew Brady. For some reason I remember Brady getting lots of goop in his eyes so bad that he couldn't open them in the morning until you got a warm wash cloth and helped clean them up. Feeding RJ is the morning is a little nerve racking....he is sucking on the bottle and then you can see his little head go back a little....I take out the bottle and wait for the gasp of air that follows these events. Every time he does this (and he does it a lot) I mentally get prepared to do CPR or back blows. I wish that he didn't have so much problems during feeding times. Anji said something that has been haunting me in the back of my head ever since I heard it. When we took RJ to the doctor and we found that his O2 saturation was between 80 and 90 she said that he could be losing brain cells. I guess I am trusting the doctors that they wouldn't send a baby home that would be risk for this to happen. I know that there hasn't been anything in my life that I have prayed for more than little RJ. Countless prayers before he was even born, all during the pregnancy and now every day....I am pretty sure that there won't be a day till I die that I won't pray for him. I watched the movie, "Emma, My Story" and I couldn't imagine losing all the babies she lost.

I used to think that my life was so perfect....that I didn't really have any real trials to overcome....and what would it be like to overcome something big and how would I do during the testing process? Wow, the Lord sure did help me to understand what its like to live through some trials. Its sad but I know the nature of life is to experience all the highs and lows and I don't think the lord is through teaching me....I wish he was but I far from perfect....as everyone knows.....ahhhhh.

I just read Ruby and Matt's blog about their new cat.....I know its none of my business but I always hoped that they would be dog people like us....I feel a little betrayed. Oh well I guess we can't be friends anymore.....it was great knowing you! J/K . I know they would have a dog if conditions permitted so I won't hold them getting a cat against them. Having any animal to care for and look after is a good thing...research has shown that you are happier and you live longer. Zowie is getting older.....her breath is so nasty....but I love it! Its kind of weird to me to be in love with something so revolting. I really hope that RJ is going to be able to have some memories of her. I am trying to do the calculations in my head....some of my earliest memories was when my little Lori came home from the hospital.....and I think that I was 3 or 4 years old when that happened. So in 4 years from now Zowie will be 11 years old....her breath will really be stinky then. I can't remember how old Colby (Jesse's Dog) was when he finally died but I think it was 13 or 14. That dog looked like hell! He had gotten hit by a car so many times.....one of the last times he had lost his eye and for a couple years he walked around with this open oozing sore....I was glad when Jesse had it sewn up. What a cool dog he was! I dread the day my Zowie leaves us.

We are going to go to "Game Night" tonight over at Aimee and Jason's. It's the first time since before RJ was born.

RJ has some tests done on him.....

While I was at work today, Anji texted me saying that she was going to take RJ to see the doctor. She asked if they could test his O2 saturation and over a period of an hour the lowest 80 and his highest was 91 which isn't the best. Dr. Thompson wasn't there so we had Dr. Clark listen to his heart and said that he thinks RJ has a slight heart murmur. One of Anji's friend is a nurse at primary children's hospital and she said that was very common. The doctor wanted to do some more tests so Anji took him to get a chest x-ray (which he cried at the whole time) and right now I am sitting in a room at the new hospital whiching his little heart beat on a screen...he is getting a echo-cardio-gram. I hope my boy is ok. The doctor thinks he just may have caught a virus buts wants to run all the tests to be on the safe side.

RJ hasn't had a good day....

When I got home from work today Anji expressed concerns about RJ's health. She says he has been hardly eating....sleeping a ton....and vomiting his food back up. She had me stare at his face for a bit to see if his face was blue....he looked fine to me but I am not the medical expert in the family. Anji is an excellent nurse and I trust her judgement completely when it comes to the health of RJ. As of yet we haven't gone to the hospital.....which means that Anji isn't 100 percent postive that we have anything to worry about. I hope the little guy gets feeling better....I think I write to much on the blog so I am going to throw a video in here to please most of the people that just want to see what we are up to.

Nearly pee'd my pants!!

Anji and I were laughing so hard we nearly pee'd our pants. Today has been a crazy day. When I got home from school today Anji was showing me some of the pictures that she had taken with Aunt Liz. They were nice...but I thought that I could do better. I saw a cute picture of a baby in the new Memory Mixer software she had bought....and thought.....thats not hard...I can do that. Anji said that we should give it a try since RJ is asleep and I grabbed the camera and went upstairs to pose my sleeping baby. Anji and I took turns taking pictures....I'll let you guess which are mine and which are hers.K....In case you were wondering.....from top to bottom it goes....mine, mine, hers! I really don't know what she was thinking....she just looked at me and said....I want to try something and then threw the blanket over my head and put the baby in my arms! I was laughing so hard that I couldn't hold the baby still and Anji kept saying don't drop the baby! After she had taken the picture as I pulled off the blanket from my head.....I saw Anji collapse with laughter on the floor and between gasps of air she told me to look at the picture she had taken. When I was looking at it she commented that it looked like the Klu Klux Klan was holding our baby! I think I know what she was trying to do with this picture but the execution was all wrong. She just wanted a picture of the baby and my hands which is a real cute picture but it didn't quite work at that way. I love my wife and this day will never be forgotten! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

I have a lot to blog about and not much of it is as lighthearted as whats above. Today, I found out that my father's cancer is back. He also is in need of a heart stent to open up an artery. It's kind of weird because when they first found his cancer they said that they wouldn't do Chemo because they were worried that he wouldn't recovery well from it. Now I heard that they are going to be using some fancy radiation knife and that its suppose to be easier to recover from....I hope that he will be ok. There has been so many times in the past that I have thought that he might not recover from "this....fill in the blank" and he always has..... and although I know that there is a possibility that he might not be around much longer....he always seems to beat the odds. I just want you to know that I love and care for you Dad....and I will be there for you. WOw! I never really knew how much love my dad might have for me.....I love RJ so much already that I can kind of see myself a little clearer through my own father eyes....I am his little RJ.

I have a bad case of the chronic hicups!!

RJ has lately had a real healthy appetite but he eats so much and then he gets the hick up's and then his food comes up. I think this is pretty common but it's still painful to watch him spit up that much. I know it always hurts when I throw up. I wonder if he is sick? He started to up chuck a little yesterday which has continued today. Anji said that he has been real cranky....and I got a little taste of it when Anji left me to go running. RJ chilled with me for the most part but a half an hour before he was suppose to eat he got an attitude with me and wanted to eat right then. I put him off for a bit but I can only take so much crying RJ. So I started to make a little din din for him...and the next thing I know the little stinker is passed out. So I pulled some tricks that Aimee taught me and took off his little jumper and waited for him to get uncomfortable but more importantly ....AWAKE! He opened his eyes and looked at me like...."hey man....it's cold in here!" So I started to feed him and towards the end of the bottle he started to doze off again even with his jumper off. Well I went up stairs to change his diaper and then lay him down for a nap. Mom came home and I made dinner and right now I am listening to you cry....you are so much different then you were a week ago. A week ago I couldn't keep you awake for 10 minutes! Now it seems you won't go to sleep. Well I hope that you are able to sleep good tonight...if you don't I am pretty sure you are sick.

(Just to warn you cute RJ stuff is over and now its just boring Ryan stuff so turn back now!)

I started to take my blogs and put them in a book that will get published on Blurb.com. I am real excited for the book...I am loving it! I don't know what it is but something about making this book ....its just a lot of fun. In a way, I have always been self conscious about my spelling, and probably the biggest reason is I am embarrassed of my handwriting. On my mission, I did a little bit of journaling but for the most part I did audio tapes....lots and lots of audio tapes. I don't think I ever got over my second grade teacher trying to read my letter to the class but unable to do so without me interpreting for her. Nice handwriting starts early and my teacher would always say..."As soon as you finish the assignment you can go out to recces".....of course I am going to burn through that assignment as fast as I could....recces is way more important than good handwriting at that age. Another thing....no one could have ever reasoned with me about the importance of good handwriting at that age. My brain wasn't capable of understanding anything more than, FAST WRITING=MORE PLAYTIME!! So maybe this book allows for me to be able to express myself in a safe way that I won't be to embarrassed by. It's kind of spendy...I am putting together the 10X13 landscape one but it looked like the best one to display all the pictures I have and also my thoughts. I have a tendency to avoid paragraphs and forget words here and there...and do a lot of this stuff ........instead of making full sentences. I think I write like I talk.....just go'in for it sometimes floundering all over the place. I know that this might be a rallying point for all the people that love me and want to help me to change....I have finally seen the light!! He knows he is an idiot!! We can help him!!....but atlas....no. I like my idiot self. Its me and and I like me. Who knows maybe with age my mind will slow down...and I will be more coherent and I will be able to not like the sound of my own voice so much. Maybe that's it! This book is an ego thing. My proof to the world that I exists and I matter! Maybe this is a glimpse into my own father's life....with his obsession to do all the genealogy work that he has done.

K....another real fear is this. I wonder if I am going to spill my guts this much when I have more than just RJ in my life? And if I don't....later in life I wonder if they will think that I didn't love them as much as I do RJ? I think many parents go through this with there first born. I had some people laugh at how we take pictures of everything RJ does and can automatically tell that this is our first born....and exclaim how after having a few more you won't have anytime to document and capture every moment of their lives. Its all true I am sure....but for any future kids of mine....I love you just as much as RJ! He just got a little lucky coming first thats all. I was a middle child and believe me....I wouldn't trade it for a second for the postion of being first born. Man, just think of all the things we are going to learn not to do with RJ....practice makes perfect and even though he may have a more complete baby book than you....you guys just might have it better in other areas.

Sunday....

I went to church today by myself. Anji still doesn't want RJ around lots of people because of all the air born pathogens. Was pretty lonely and I definitely like it much better with my wife and child with me. I had the chorister for the primary come up and tell me that she had read our blog which was a little shocking at first. She had nice things to say but I am a little self-conscious on how I am being perceived by others. I have read a bunch which has helped a ton with my writing skills but I am still sometimes crude in my sentence structure (I am pretty crude with my language sometimes....in some family saying "stupid" is a bad word and I am pretty sure I have talked enough about RJ's dirty diapers to bore everyone to death) and I lack eloquence....but this is me and although I am no Billy Shakespeare at least I am not letting my fears of what other people may or may not think about me stop me from doing something that in the end I know is right and good. I think it would of been real cool to have some of the things I have written about from my own father. Maybe because of my situation I want to have proof that I have loved you from the beginning....and maybe it will be enough when it really matters. I have no idea how old you will be when you will finally be able to read and understand this whole blog. Come to think about it....I have never even asked my mother or father if they had kept a journal about some of my early experiences with them. What did they think of me when I came into this world? Did I cry too much?

Right now RJ is sitting in my lap...we are ready to go on a walk. I really can't think of anything fun and exciting that RJ has done today. He hasn't slept much today and I am hoping that he will be able to have a good night tonight.

Just got back from the walk...the trail was pretty bumpy and when you started to cry I scooped you up in my arms and carried you back to the car. I wish I had one of those baby backpack thingies.

Zowie buries herself in the couch.....

Saturday Morning Breakfast.....

Today was fun for me and my son. I woke up about 6:11am grabbed RJ and went down stairs to feed him. He ate a ton....nearly a whole bottle. He had a few bouts of spitting up some of his food....(I still don't know what that means....did he eat to much?) ..anyways, after 45 mins or so I changed his diaper and then heard John's ringer. John asked if we would like to come eat Saturday morning Breakfast at his house and I quickly agreed. (John is a great cook much better than Denny's) I thought about leaving RJ here with Anji and then decided against it. RJ was much to wide awake and I knew he would be crying and then Anji would be stuck with a crying baby while I went and had fun with the boys. So I grabbed his diaper bag, threw him in his car seat, whistled for Zowie, and was off. He fell asleep for a little bit on the ride over there but was awake when I brought him in the house. Jason brought, Billy and Courtney, and we all talked while cooking and eating. RJ was a champ...he just hung out watching all the kids and dogs go flying around the room and didn't real say a peep until we were actually eating and the room quieted down. I grabbed him and tried to eat while holding him....until Uncle John came and took him from me which I was grateful for. John wanted to see how Murphey (John's big dog) would act around a baby and Murphey was great. After we had gotten done eating and John was sitting on the couch with RJ....RJ started to fuss a little and it was super cute...Murphey came up and gave RJ a big lick on the crown of his head. Anyways...breakfast was fun and I thought about holding breakfast over at my house next week. The only negative about cooking at each others house is that we don't get to talk as much as we do when we go to Denny's. The time spent talking about our week and our lives is really the reason we get together. Looking back it would of been fun to get a picture with everyone. I am glad that Aimee and Jason decided to move to St. George, I really like the amount of time I have been able to spend with my Nieces and Nephews. Billy is always so quick to shout out his welcomes and run over and give you a hug. Kind of nice to feel that unconditional love and I think it makes the world that much better of a place.

A walk in the park.....

Today Anji and I went on a walk with RJ....all in all it was probably a mile. When we first got to the park we opened up the door and let Zowie out and she went running for the closest bushes and we got RJ out. Well, there was another Silver Honda Civic pulling right near where we parked and a moments later it comes back around and asks us if the dog chasing their car is ours. Apparently, Zowie thought we were in that car and was following them down to the main road. We used to do that all the time...we would drop Zowie off at Ben Franklin and let her chase the car all the way to the Diagonal house. ....I guess she was reliving those days. It was pretty hot but we walked from the Toniquint Tennis Court to the next park north on the park trails. There were lots of kids at this park and as always Zowie started to develop a line of children running after her to get a chance to pet her. I stopped and had Zowie lay down in the grass and let the kids pet her. I can't wait till RJ and Zowie get to enjoy each other in the park. RJ is going to have a constant companion and will be the envy of the kids with a dog that cool by his side.

Poo Back....

Well it looks like we have two "Poo Backs" in this family now. Sometimes when Zowie sees a fresh one on the grass she rolls in it and gets it all over her back. I don't know if she just likes baths or she thinks the dog that laid the line is a cutesy and that's her way of saying, "Hey who ever did this......I'm Yours!" but for whatever the reason she does it. When she does it Anji and I call her "Poo Back" and now RJ is getting the nick name. I cleaned up my first human "Poo Back" early this morning and for the most part I handled it like a champ. I got my nose plug that Anji bought for me from Big 5, grabbed his foam shower thing, took him to the kitchen sink, took off his diaper and sprayed away!! This way is definitely the best way to handle this kind of mess in my opinion. I thought I would be fine with no gagging but still the sight of the diaper caused one gag reflex even without the smell wafting through my nose.

A Fight, A Fight!!!

Last night at the city council meeting we won and the 2 story homes in our back yard have even a bigger challenge to overcome. After we got the verdict and were walking out of the City Planning room, the developer "Joby" came up and and said that he was going to make a wall six feet from our property line that was 6 foot high and build all of his buildings 35 foot high instead of the 28 foot high....and basically destroy our precious view. He has every right to do these things to us just to be mean if he wants to. Even without getting the zoning changed he has the right to build a block wall on his property and destroy our view. Needless to say he was upset...and he let us know. For the first time I think I have seen someone desperate....someone near the limits of their self-control. He said a lot of things but a few things he said hit me to the core. He is trying to provide for his family just like I am....and my success is his loss. It sounded like he has most of his livelihood riding on this property and now he owns a 2.5 million dollar piece of clay. I really don't know how he felt but I could imagine how it would be to go home to my wife and try to explain how my big idea is now worthless. I know that everyone in construction in St. George are feeling the stresses from the economy much more than I am. After talking to him, I do feel I understand more of what he is trying to do and I would rather be working with him than against him. I think that I am convinced that the buildings would not effect our views and really the only concern that I still have now is the type of buildings and the type of people that will be living in them.

Eye shower.....

Right now I am sitting in a city planning meeting to try to stop two story buildings from being built in our back yard. Grandma is making chili and it doesn't look like I am going to make it to dinner at six.

Accidents happen son and today mom got a tiny bit of hand sanitizer in your eye. When I saw you....you looked fine...you weren't crying or blinking your eyes. Mom thought it would be best to make sure everything was ok so we took you to the kitchen sink and held your little eyes open and ran a little water over your naked eye. You didn't like it of course but quickly stopped crying as soon the water stopped. Zowie had a bunch of brake fluid in her eye a couple weeks ago from chasing a basketball and she seems just fine...she still runs into walls occasionally but no more than what she used to do. There is lots worse that could happen to you and if this is the worst we will count ourselves lucky. You Aunt Lori has a nasty scar on her hand from playing with a curling iron. We are doing our best to keep you safe but in the end there are no guarantees that accidents won't happen if there was they wouldn't be called accidents.

Anonymous posting.......

I love all the comments that I get on the blog....kind of validates why I do this. So in hopes of hearing more comments from the people I love....I allowed anonymous posting. My mom told me once that she typed almost 2000 words and then lost all she had typed when she went to post it....was kind of sad....I would of loved to hear her comments. I also heard that there is a way to convert all your posts into some kind of book. Going to find out how to do this so if the world ever comes to an end and Google loses my blog I will have a hard copy for my posterity. Thanks to Brooke Neumann for this tip!

RJ goes to the doctor......

Well today RJ is going to get his PKU done...I have no idea what that stands for. He has been bleeding a little bit at his belly button but Anji has done some reading and she says that is pretty normal right before it falls off. I am sure the doctor is also going to inspect his handy work with the circumcision that did last week. Anji told me that she and RJ had a great day today which is good news after the bad night RJ and I had. RJ just wanted to be held and was constantly hungry. You started to cry when mom put you in the car seat on the way to this doctors appointment but after you heard my voice and I kissed you a couple times you settled down and fell asleep. I asked Anji if she had any comments to add to this blog...she said "Ryan to the rescue" I think I could detect a little sarcasm in her voice...I know its not a big deal to her but I think its cool you feel comforted by my presence and respond to me in that way...in a way its all I got...it makes me feel more like your dad. After your mom just read what I wrote she told me of something Aunt Aimee said....Aimee was wondering why I wanted to give you a bottle and your mom was theorizing my intentions ans she guessed it was because I was feeling left out somehow...well its true...I do like to see your little cute eyes gazing up at me while I feed you....I don't like the smell of your farts as your body makes room for the milk I am giving you...but I grin and bear it. I also know that mom is really tired all the time and if I can give her a little break she is much happier (Findley Curse) You're really smelling ripe right now which reminds me of my achelles heel. Mom was gone with Aunt Liz getting some food and Uncle John was holding you and you were stinky. When Uncle John handed you to me I had a brief feeling of loss...I missed the time when I could hand the stinky kid to their parents to change...but now I was the parent... so I took you upstairs and the whole time on the way up there I knew this one was going to be a bad one. I tried to be strong but my stomach betrayed me. It was horrible. You were crying on the changing table, I was running to the toliet for some dry heaving. I mustard up some courage to go back in and after a few more attempts at cleaning up your bum I was back visiting the toilet. I am pathetic son...but I learned something from my Deer hunting/gutting days...I do much better if I can't smell anything. So your mom is going to buy me nose plugs. That will be good because I feel bad that your mom always has to change your diaper.

RJ wide awake...

Hildegard Scheuber funeral

My mom just got done giving the ogoogley for Hildegard....and I have been holding you on my lap for the last hour. Mom just told me that she hasn't had breakfast yet and that she is starving....you know what that means....don't do any sudden movements....be super nice and back slowly out of the room. The Findley curse is about to manifest itself and only the sacrifice of some perishable item will stem the curse from fully enveloping your mother and changing her into Anjisquach. Just kidding your mother is quite pleasant to be around when she is tired and hungry after the training I did with a pack of wolverines last spring in preparation for dealing with the Findley Curse I can pretty much handle anything. I have no idea son if your going to suffer from the Findley Curse....my guess is that you probably will, but if you follow my special mental training (I do have a masters in the art of the Psyche) you will be able to rise above it like myself and other enlightened people throughout the world like the Prophets of our Church, Gandalf, Yoda and Ghandi.

The Free Market...

Anji and I have a new dance that we do. As I am feeding RJ with a bottle...he is farting left and right and occasionally I hear some major work going on down there....well I am picturing this horrible horrible nightmare of a diaper that I am going to have to change and I decided to put my negotiations skills to the test. So I ask my sweet wife what I have to do to get out of changing this diaper. She asks me to do all the dishes....there was easily a full load to do but I quickly agree. She is happy because she hates to do the dishes....I am happy because doing dishes doesn't bother me in the least and I hate smelly poopy messes and sometimes come close to making my own stinky smelly mess.....but I love my son and will clean his messes up to make his life a little more happier. I really want to say that I can't wait for him to be potty trained but I don't want to always be looking forward to the future....I want to enjoy him now just the way he is....poopy diapers and all. I know that for most of my life I have always sought happiness in the future. I will be happy when I can drive...I will be happy when I can date...I will be happy when I get a girlfriend...I will be happy when I get married...I will be happy when I meet George Lucas ....Happiness is always tomorrow. I am happy now....and that's what matters. RJ is as cute as ever and I look forward to the time I come home and see him for the first time after a long day at work...he still doesn't do half as good as Zowie does in showing me that he is excited for me to be there but give him some time...I am sure him and Zowie will be fierce competitors for my love and affection...... as fierce as I am of theirs.

Another cute picture...

I wonder if we will take as many pictures later in his life?

Isn't my kid the cutest....

My first day back at work....at first I thought that I would have had a ton of work and I did... but I got most of all the really important stuff done today and it wasn't as bad as I thought. I missed hanging out with my cute kid and kind of jealous of mom that she gets to hang out for nearly 3 months with you before she goes back to work. I came home today and after mom got done nursing you...you and I did a little Tummy Time....well you did Tummy time and I did back time but we did it together...you feel asleep on my chest and as normal I got real tired with the sent of you right under my nose. I was afraid that you would role off my chest and fall on the floor so I didn't ever fall asleep. Mom is making some pork stuff that Aunt Joelle gave her and it smells super good....first time in our marriage that mom has ever cooked pork.... I think (Could be wrong about that and if I am I am sure your mother will remind me about the other pork meals she has made for me....she has a memory like a steal bear trap....so don't ever get into an argument about anything in the past because she is always right and you remembered it wrong).

RJ takes a bath

Mom was gone and I had a crying baby...

RJ and I had a bonding experience today. Mom went to run some errands and RJ and I took another nap on the couch until RJ started to get hungry. Well, I had just gone through a traumatic event with you last night when I was just helpless to sit by and watch you cry. I thought about it and decided that I was going to give you a bottle. I called mom before I did it and she gave me permission so you did some tummy time crying the whole time while I heated you up some breast milk. Your eyes were big the first time you drank from the bottle and I think you really surprised on how much came out. Well you drank and I burped you.......rinse and repeat (you threw up on me once). I left for a little bit and you were crying pretty bad and when I came back I snapped this picture of you and Zowie. I guess she was trying to console you. Just kidding that is a big lie....I posed you too like that. Mom was afraid that Zowie would hurt you but you both came out of it unscratched.

Last day of freedom....

I'm going back to work tomorrow so I won't get to see you as much as I have been. Last night we had kind of a special moment....well it was for me. Mom went to Wal-Mart to buy some groceries and you and I hung out at home....right when she left you started to get hungry and cry. I tried giving you a pacifier....and that didn't work...I tried hold you in different positions and rocking you and that didn't work. Then I tried singing you primary songs and that worked the best...you still cried a little but for the most part you were much better. I think by the time mom came home you were totally asleep again. Then after mom was done feeding you she gave you back to me and we lied on the couch side by side and both feel asleep listening to the news. Your smell has always relaxed me. I am pretty sure that smell will go away...just like little puppy breath turns into old dog"what died in your mouth" breath. Pretty soon you will smell like a little boy who has been playing in the backyard with Zowie and I am sure you won't be able to avoid all the little mine traps Zowie has planted out there. But I will always love you regardless of how you smell. Which reminds me...Mom said that when she was changing your diaper yesterday you had an explosion and hit her in the face with some of your nastiness. Please don't ever do that to me or we will probably have more than just your mess to clean up.

My sister wrote a really nice comment further down the blog chain that touched me and I just wanted to say thanks to her for that. Stephanie, I love you!

My mother is so awesome....

I love how my mother is so kind to her neighbors....its family night and my mother invited a couple of her neighbors over for dinner and they told us that when they first moved to the ward no one came to visit them...but my mother showed up with a plate of cookies and was the first to welcome them. I want to be more like her. Anji was afraid that Zowie would walk over RJ in the back seat but so far she has been nothing but a pefect respecting older sister. I love St. George this time of year. Right now I am waiting for Anji to come outside...she said she was ready to leave.

Snipity, Snip Snip........

Today you got your circumcision and it wasn't pretty. I am glad that you won't remember the experience. You pretty much didn't even cry during the procedure....you cried when they numbed you. Then we took you to LabCore and you wailed....you got poked in the foot so they could draw blood for the CRP test and Billi Ruben. I didn't go back with you but mom told me that you had big alligator tears rolling down your cheeks and it was the first time she has seen your tears. She didn't like it much and had expressed lots of sympathy for you. I am sure that this wasn't your most favorite day here and the bad news is there are more days like today ahead of you....but it all worth it...the bad days make us see the beauty in even mundane days. I didn't go to work today and I heard they had planned something special today in honor of you being born. To bad but I am sure that I will hear about it. Check out this cool signature that will be at the end of all my post for now on...looks good and I wish that my actual penmanship was half as artsy.

Cousin Fiona and Billy came to visit...

Yesterday....all my troubles seemed so far away...

I'm really not experiencing any troubles today....just like that song. Yesterday you had lots of fans come out and want to hold you and see you. There was Aunt Aimee and Uncle Jason, Aunt Shelly, Cousin Jacob, Billy, Phiona, Courtney. These guys are really 1st cousins once removed but you will probably grow up calling them Uncles and Aunts: John, Randy and Tammy. These guys I think are your 2nd cousins: Ahnaliese, Skylar, Rachel, and Carly. Then we had Jacob's Girlfriend, Keira and John's Girlfriend Kim (I hope one day wife). You were held non-stop by someone other than me or your mother for about 4 hours...so I hope you don't get sick. I did a big face lift to the blog site yesterday too....it was lots of fun. Your Aunt Aimee said something about the template I had previously chosen being too feminine so I decided to put some guns, tanks, knives on the website to make it look more boyish....j/k. I did use the same decorative scheme as your room to spice up the website...I know its not the cutest but its uniquely ours...no one has a blog site like it. I am holding you right now so I am a 1 handed bandit typing.

RJ & Zowie

Lots to blog about this morning. I brought RJ down this morning and caught him just staring at Zowie then I remembered something I read during my Internet search on how to flip flop your days and nights. I was reading up on "how to play with your baby" and they said that newborns really like black and white moving stripes...well Zowie does have stripes down her face and she does move around a lot so that might explain why you like her so much. I think that it is going to be lots of fun you growing up with her. She is just going to be like a piece of furniture to you...probably you earliest memories will have her in it and I highly doubt you will have any fear of dogs....well not this dog. Sorry to say this son, but I don't think she is interested in you as much as she is interested in that stuffed animal floating above you but it’s a cute picture. You got the hiccups real good right now and earlier you wouldn't stop crying so I knew it was one of three things. You are tired, you are hungry or you are poopy. I had just woken you up and it was my job to keep you up till mom waked up at nine, I still cant feed you, so after putting it off for as long as I could...(couple minutes) I decided to check your diaper dreading what horrors I would behold. it wasn't to bad you had some caked on to your skin that you didn't like me trying to get off, I turned around to throw away your dirty diaper and when i turned around it looked like old faithful had gone off. You even had enough power and the right trajectory to get it on the carpet. I don't think changing you on that bed is a great idea...I guess I failed to follow the safety guidelines mom taught me to avoid such messes and that how you learn.....next time a wet nap will block any premature nuclear strikes against Russia your planning. You just wanted to be held this morning and so most (nearly all that you see above was typed with 1 hand). I just put you in your swinger that Grandma and Grandpa Findley bought you (the one that your cousin Gracie has) and you're totally content. I think you're ready to feed again...its getting about that time. When you start to cry Zowie comes running in the room. Let’s go see if we can get mom to feed you.

Uncle John comes to visit...

John came over today and wanted to hang out with the baby...he is really cute with kids and has a natural ability with kids that I never had. I am excited to have RJ grow up around him. I know he is longing to have a family of his own. It was real cute....Melissa (one of Anji's friends) wanted to hold RJ and John gave her the baby....right away he started to cry...after a couple of minutes of failed attempts to console RJ she gave him back to John. RJ quieted down immediately. It was pretty cool and I hope that the reason RJ did that is because John and I are a lot alike. I am kind of worried because mom has kind of turned me into the bad guy with RJ. When he falls asleep during his feeding or I need to wake him, mom leaves it up to me to do the wet rag trick. It wakes him up but I don't want him to associate that unpleasant experience with me....or we might be doing some major therapy sessions when he is a teenager. Just know this little guy. I love you so much. Just a heads up little RJ....Uncle John was one of the few that hung out with me and you mother the night you were born...he went and picked up some stuff we forgot and needed and then went and got the video camera I left at SCMS. Thanks so much John for all you do. I wanted to get a picture of John and RJ but I right when I was trying to get the picture Grandma Cutler called and it took me out of camera mode.

A boy and his toys....

Here is one of RJ'S toys. Nothing I put him in seems to keep him awake they are all really great putting him to sleep which he needs no help at all. Just watching him in this swing relaxes me and puts me to sleep...I don't think we had anything this cool when I was young with the relaxing forest rainfall music in the background .

Much better....

I think I did a little good with my efforts to keep him awake the day before. He didn't wake up as many times last night as he did the night before. Right now I am doing the Saturday morning Denny's thing and I am looking forward to RJ coming with me so I can show him off to Beth Anne. Anji gave me specific instructions to keep you up again today...so lots of daddy time.

Thanks Aunt Joelle....

I have to send out a special thank you to Joelle Winkel for the meal she prepared for us tonight. Home made bread, ham, and funeral potatoes, salad and Navajo tacos for tomorrow....and she picked up gum for Anji and milk for us. We hope one day to repay you for your kindness.

A bath sure did wake him up....

Not doing a good job....

The walk didn't do RJ any good. He slept right through it. I don't know how to keep him awake without just being out right mean to him....and I could never do that. Noise doesn't wake him. Light doesn't wake him. Movement doesn't wake him. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I love the fact that he sleeps so well but its just at the wrong time. I wish he slept this well at night. I am suppose to go back to work on Monday and I hope for Anji's sake we can get him switched by then. She would like me to take off till Wednesday and It wouldn't be a problem for the school but I have taken a whole week off already and just feel I need to get back.

Keep the baby awake...

Mom is trying to sleep and its my job to keep you awake today. You can sleep a little but we don't want another last night. When you want to sleep buddy bombs could be going off and they won't wake you. I think I am going to take you for a walk. See what that does. I have allergies and mom keeps thinking I am sick and looks at me like I am the grim reaper every time I sneeze. I promise if I didn't think it was allergies I would stay away...I wonder if allergies are genetic or developed? I am pretty sure they are genetic but that still means you will sneeze in the spring when mom does.

Shear exhaustion.....

Your days and nights are mixed up and you have been up and crying nearly every hour. I had no idea...when people said that babies cried through the night. I thought you might have to wake once or twice and give you a bottle for ten minutes but never this...mom has been doing the lion share of the work and man tomorrow isn't going to be pretty with as little sleep she has gotten. I kind of want to put you on a bottle so I can do more and mom can sleep more but mom is determined to continue to breast feed you. The fear is once you use a bottle you won't go back on the tit. The way that you are eating right now...my prediction is you will take what you can get and unlike Derrick Zoolander you can turn right as well as left when your walking down the catwalk.

Cry baby Cry!

Well RJ has his days and night mixed up and I don't know how to fix it....if it was me I would take a monster or two stay up all night and be super tired for my bed time the next day.....little stinker is wide awake and its 12 am. We need to get baby wise cuz this will get old fast. Another thing that is kind of funny according to Anji whenever the baby cries her mammary gland kicks it in gear and she leaks milk everywhere. Man....I am tired.

RJ comes home....

Well right now I am holding RJ in the recliner in the front room. I have Zowie constantly putting the ball in my lap and RJ is in the early stages of being awake and hungry. Zowie gave him a good sniff when he got here and I think she has tried to give him the ball once or twice. I have been doing laundry all morning giving Anji a chance to sleep. RJ is starting to open his eyes a little. Zowie just gave a couple of barks at a tractor outside and RJ didn't even blink. Its good to have him home.

Hearing test

More test preformed on Ryan. He passed his first hearing test today...they said he had super hearing...I wonder if that meant really really good hearing...or he is like superman and can hear things far away. It would be cool if he is like superman...as long as he can still get sleep at night.

Bored and I want to go home....

2 hours and going and we still haven't left the hospital. Mom is crashed out in a rocker and you are still in your car seat. We are waiting for a lady to give you a hearing test. We have had tons of education...I learned that it not a good idea for you to put your fingers in the wall socket....I still can't figure out why...every time I've done that I have just loved it and they cautioned us against letting you sleep with Zowie...she is going to be so sad. The hearing lady just came in and mom had me get your frozen milk out of the freezer. Any minute now.

Car seat challenge...

For us to take him home today, RJ has to be able to not crash (his vitals stay good) while seating in the car seat for 30 mins. They normally make you test for 90 mins but because we live only 7mins away they are only going to make us do it for 30 mins...we are half way through it and he is performing like an olymipic runner.

Home, sweet Home...

I got a surprising call today Anji called to tell me to get over to the hospital...the baby is coming home...I kind of broke the speed limit getting over here.

Anji is sleeping at the hospital

Just got back from the hospital where I was massaging your mothers neck. She has a Migraine headache and she thinks its from all her milk coming in. They got super big! I'm not complaining. Your mom has always been real pretty. I don't know if you will ever appreciate all she does for you. I know I didn't. So I know I don't say it enough but thank you so much Evonne Busselberg and Spencer Stephens for loving me. You did a awesomely fantastic job at being my parents. No complaints. Love you both

CRP...NOT CPR

I still have no idea what CRP stands for but I do know what it means...its like a measurement of how much infection your baby has. Most non-sick babies will have a CRP below 1.0. Right after you were born it was 1.5 then the next day it was 3.5...that's when mom was worried you weren't going to make it...but I knew better I gave you a blessing and was told by your father in heaven that you would make it through this....the next day it was 1.9. The next day it was 1.0 and today it was 0.6. I gave mom quite the scare when on the 2nd day (when your CRP was real high). Mom was wasted...she had a super bad migraine headache and only a few hours of sleep. I went down and checked on you and I asked the nurse how you were...she spitted off a bunch a medical jargon that I pretended to understand but knew I would forget. I asked her if she had called your mom and told her all this and she said she hadn't...I told her that she should probably do that because I would for sure bungle up everything she had just told me...she tried to call mom but there was no answer and I remembered that mom was flat on her back with a blood patch procedure and couldn't answer the phone. So I leave you in the NICU and go see mom to tell her what the nurse told me. I get in the room and mom asks how you are and I said..."did you hear about the CPR?"..then the phone rang and I answered it...needless to say your mom was pretty freaked out...she had thought you had CPR which is never a good sign for anyone and especially a mother you wants to take her baby home....I did some fast talking and it wasn't hard to convince your mom that I am an idiot and meant to say CRP instead of CPR.

Skin to skin...

K...just to let every one know about a pretty cool treatment they do here in the NICU. Skin to skin is just that...you bear your chest and the baby just has a diaper on and you snuggle. It does wonders let me tell you. Respiration slows down, pulse slows down...the baby is just more relaxed. They also say that the infection in the baby transfers to the mom and then the mom makes antibodies to fight the babies infection and then give the antibodies back to the baby via breast milk. Right now I'm doing skin to skin with my son and then I'm going to hug mom and then she can make antibodies for little rye rye. In the end skin to skin is just a whole lot of lovin. It reminds me of Eckart Tolle's talks about the power of just being with someone in that moment. Just looking into your eyes not trying to mold you or change you....just happy to be with you. You smell so good....it almost puts me to sleep.

The nurses want to steal our baby! (posted by Anji)

This morning I walked into his room at the nicu and there were about 5 nurses standing over his crib talking about how cute little ryan was. They all love his eyes. He is always very curious and looking around. And of course they all love his red hair. They were all saying " maybe his mom will rent him out to us" and " I bet she will rent him out between the hours of midnight to 6 am". I was like " I don't think so"! It was kind of funny!

RJ knocks one out of the park....

Anji has been at the hospital all day and at his 5:00pm feeding the nurses were afraid that it was going to be like his 3:00 feeding and they would have to use his feeding tube, but RJ totally surprised everyone by feeding for 20 mins. The nurses were pretty impressed and they got Anji a temporary room at the hospital for the night. She will be feeding him every 3 hours. Hopefully he will come home tomorrow.

Words of Wisdom from Grandma and Grandpa Sharpe

RJ, you are blessed to have "goodly" parents who love you very much and will teach you in all things. We, your grandparents are so excited you are here and look forward to many memorable times together. Welcome to our family!!! Grandma Vonnie & Pappa Jack

Too tired to eat....

Well it doesn't look we are going to pass the challenge the NICU gave us. RJ hasn't been sleeping good and when mom shows up to feed him, he is wiped out after a few sucks.

I'm my own worst enemy....

I was putting these 55 gallon barrels in my little secret spot for water storage and me being me had to go and break a drain pipe. I have no patience and the whole time I was trying to sneak that stupid barrel under that pipe I was thinking "....its going to break ....its going to break.....yep it broke". I turned a 10 min job to a 4 hour job. When will I learn?

110 gallons of water

Going to "Family Matters" to buy some 55 gallon water storage barrels so if ever we are out of water in the desert I will have about 4 weeks worth of drinking water.....after that...we just might have to go to war with the neighbors. ...j/k. They told me that about once every year I should drain the water out and replenish my supply with fresh water.

Yet another IV spot

Under the knee cap lasted one day...right now its on your left foot. Its real funny you fall asleep real quick because your so comfortable breast feeding with mom. We kind of have a challenge set before us...we have to totally breast feed you for 24 hours before they let us take you home. You have done great so far. 2 meals down 6 more to go. Right now I am rocking you and every so often you open your eyes and look at me. I wish you were this awake with mom...you got a super cute smile right now. All your stats look great. Your holding your binky in your mouth......I think it shows your superior eye hand coordination. You got the hicups...and you just barely farted or pooped.. Ill let the nurse figure out which one...not that confident with poopy diapers just yet son. Man you are wide awake. You keep attacking the feeding tube on the side of your nose with your little hands.

RJ out of the Giraffe

This is the text message mom sent me today

Hi. He is in a normal crib. He is still off o2 and bili lights. He took a whole breast feed from me. The want me to feed every 3 hrs today to c if he can.

Hildegard Scheuber Dies.....

I wish you could of known this special lady RJ. She is 1 in a million. She really means a lot to your father. She paid for my mission. She never wanted me to know but your Grandma can't tell a lie and I got it out of her eventually. I hope you (....and all of us) can be like her. She showed true love. I can't wait to see her again and tell her thank you for what she did for me. I could never do that when she was alive because then she would of known Grandma spilled the beans. Just found out that her funeral will be Saturday October 11th....don't know the time yet but I will for sure be there.

Ryan Thomas' bedroom

This video is mainly for my dad...he is in a wheelchair and could probably never see his room....for everone else it is much better in person...so don't ruin the surpise.

Ryan Thomas with an IV in his head.

Poor little guy...I can't remember all the places they ended up sticking you...one place was under your knee cap....thought that was a real weird place to put an IV with all the moving around you do. I hope mom is ok with this picture because you can see a lot of her beautiful bosom which you love to snuggle against as much as I do.

Zowie on grandma's and grandpa's bed

This is my dog laying on my parents bed...which is a big NO NO. When we took the picture we thought it was hilarious...wasn't just my idea...anji was 100 percent behind it.